· FitFab Momma · Self-Care · 5 min read
Mom Guilt: Why We Feel It and How to Let It Go
If you’re a mom, chances are you’ve felt it — that heavy feeling in your chest after losing your patience, missing a school event, or taking a rare moment for yourself. It’s called mom guilt, and it sneaks up on even the most loving, devoted mothers.
You’re not alone in feeling it. In fact, almost every mom I know struggles with this same inner voice that whispers, “You should be doing more.” But here’s the truth: you are already doing enough.
What Exactly Is Mom Guilt?
Mom guilt is that nagging sense of inadequacy or worry that you’re somehow falling short as a mother. It can be triggered by almost anything — work, parenting choices, social media comparisons, or simply wanting time for yourself.
You might feel guilty for:
Not cooking a “proper” dinner
Letting the kids have extra screen time
Going back to work (or not going back)
Needing a break — even when you love your kids endlessly
Lacking patience on some days
Sound familiar? It’s because mom guilt isn’t about failure. It’s about caring so deeply that you constantly question whether you’re doing it right.
Why We Feel It
There are a few big reasons moms tend to carry this emotional weight — and most of them have less to do with what we’re doing and more to do with the world around us.
1. Unrealistic Expectations
Society paints a picture of the “perfect mom” — always patient, always present, always put together. But that image isn’t real. Comparing yourself to that impossible standard only sets you up for guilt.
2. Social Media Pressure
The highlight reels we scroll through make it look like everyone else has it all figured out. But behind those filtered moments are messy kitchens, tired faces, and moms who struggle too. When you’re exhausted and see another mom baking gluten-free muffins from scratch, it’s hard not to feel like you’re falling behind.
3. Information Overload
Today’s moms are bombarded with advice from every direction — parenting books, podcasts, social media “experts,” well-meaning friends, even strangers online.
One person says “let them cry,” another says “never let them cry.” One day, screen time is the enemy; the next, it’s “educational.”
Add to that the ever-changing medical recommendations and the endless stream of parenting “rules,” and it’s no wonder we question ourselves constantly.
Our mothers and in-laws may chime in with “well, that’s not how we did it,” leaving us torn between respecting past generations and trusting modern advice. The result? Confusion, self-doubt, and guilt — even when we’re just trying to do our best.
4. Balancing Time Between Kids
For moms of multiple children, there’s another layer — the guilt of uneven attention. Some days, one child needs more of you — maybe help with homework, extra cuddles, or just a little more patience.
As a mom of four children, I totally get it! It can be hard to divide that one-on-one time evenly. At the end of the day, you might replay moments and realize one of them got less of your time or energy.
That ache you feel isn’t because you failed — it’s because you care deeply. Love doesn’t divide; it multiplies. But time, unfortunately, doesn’t. And that’s where the guilt sneaks in.
Remind yourself that every child gets what they need over time — just not always in the same way or on the same day.
5. Our Own High Standards
Many of us expect to give 100% to everything — parenting, work, relationships, health — but no one can do it all perfectly, all the time. When we fall short (as we all do), guilt takes over.
The truth is, guilt often grows from love. You care so much that you want to do everything right. But sometimes, that love turns into pressure — and that’s when we need to remind ourselves that being a good mom isn’t about doing it all, it’s about showing up with love, again and again.
How to Let It Go
Letting go of mom guilt doesn’t happen overnight, but these steps can help you start releasing it:
Acknowledge It Without Judgment
Notice when you feel guilty, and take a moment to ask yourself why. Sometimes just naming the feeling helps it lose its power.Challenge the Thought
Is the guilt coming from something you truly believe, or from what you think others expect of you? Be honest with yourself. Most of the time, the pressure comes from outside — not within.Redefine “Good Mom”
Being a good mom doesn’t mean being perfect. It means being present, showing love, and doing your best with what you have that day. Your kids don’t need a perfect mom. They need you.Take Care of Yourself
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Rest. Move your body. Eat something nourishing. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish — it’s essential for your family’s well-being, too.Talk About It
Share how you feel with a friend, partner, or another mom who gets it. Chances are, she’s been there too. Sometimes the simple act of saying it out loud reminds you that you’re not alone.A Gentle Reminder
You’re doing your best — even on the days that don’t feel like it. Your love, your effort, and your presence matter far more than the small mistakes or the things you couldn’t get to today.
Let’s start giving ourselves the same grace we give our children. Because every time you show up, even imperfectly, you’re teaching them what unconditional love really looks like.
And if you ever need to talk, you don’t have to do it alone.
Join our community of supportive, real moms in the FitFabMoms Facebook group — a safe place to share your thoughts, vent, or just connect with others who get it.
Have a story or tip you’d love to share on the blog? Email us anytime at chantal@fitfabmoms.com — we love hearing from you. Your story could inspire another mom who needs to hear it.
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